ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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