Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
