I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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