Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
