Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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