Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i wish my penis had a tongue
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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