i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
