Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
