Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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