I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So here I am, sexting at work.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
