I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
