Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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