Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize