If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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