you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
