everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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