Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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