girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
