So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
