Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
