I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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