ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
