I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
