he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
