Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
