Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
