I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I believe in your delicious
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
