i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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