How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize