I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
