ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize