yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
