so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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