First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
