So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
