Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well I just put wine in my tea
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
