So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
