HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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