I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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