She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I queefed so loud it echoed.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
