I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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