David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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