singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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