im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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