You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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