i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize