I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
