So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
