Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize