biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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