Sponge bath it is.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You dont lie about slip and slides
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
