Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
