It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
