nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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