When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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