Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
