You're so nebulous sometimes
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
