Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
