Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize