bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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