I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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