please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
4 words: hood of his car
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
