I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
