did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just found a bag of teeth...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
