I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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