also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
