Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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