this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
