Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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