I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
