its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
